Branson-backed radiation-repelling underpants hit bum-note

Electromagnetic radiation is a pesky aspect of modern life. Omnipresent, invisible, and potentially damaging, our bodies are routinely permeated by waves from devices like phones, laptops, tablets and all the other shiny gizmos we surround ourselves with.

Fears that these invisible forces are doing damage to sensitive parts of human anatomy have had currency for some time now, and are apparently concerning enough to see the likes of Richard Branson throwing his support behind a company that claims to have developed radiation-resistant pants.

Yes. “All men should take care of their precious crown jewels so this sounds like a very intriguing invention,” Branson wrote in a blog post.

Last year Branson said that Wireless Armour was one of his “top ten back-of-an-envelope start-up ideas,” during the Business Show in London.

However, the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) has banned the pants manufacturer from claiming that its “metal cage” shields male genitals from the effects of radiation emitted by mobile telephones.

The company behind the pants idea, Wireless Armour, says that its product houses male genitalia within “a mesh of pure silver woven into the fabric of each item. This encases the user in a cage of metal.

“Any electromagnetic radiation that hits it is distributed around the cage, therefore not allowing it to enter the cage and affect whatever is stored within.”

But, according to the Independent, the ASA found insufficient evidence to back up the claims, writing that they had “reviewed the test report provided to see whether the product was able to shield wearers from EM”.

It went on, “we noted, however, that the report referred to a sample of the fabric that was used to construct the product and not to the product when assembled into pants, and worn by consumers.”

No mention is made about the screamingly obvious fact that a usual pair of underpants has three holes, for legs and torso, and that radiation can easily pass through soft tissue and therefore bypass the fabric of the pants to get at the vulnerable contents within.

According to the Independent Wireless Armour also has plans to release a bra made of similar material conceived to protect the wearer from breast cancer caused by similar dark forces.

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