Wanted: account manager on anti-depressants to work for overweight alcoholic

A PR company has been inundated with applications for a senior account manager role after the company posted an advertisement with a refreshingly honest description of what they’re really after.

The advert, posted on Just in Time PR’s website, said: “We’re looking for a senior account manager, whatever the hell that is.

“So if you’d like to work for a company run by a fat bloke with a drink problem and a moral compass that only ever points south, you can apply here today.”

Unsurprisingly, the advert quickly whipped up a frenzy of interest across social media platforms, with hundreds of applicants apparently meeting the outlandish eligibility criteria.

The ad continued: “If you have principles and take offence easily, then this role categorically won’t be for you.

“Guardian readers, teetotallers and anyone who believes in the afterlife almost certainly won’t fit in.

“You’ll be on anti-depressants, and probably will have been for a number of years.”

It went on: “You’ll have had a number of run-ins with the law and will have spent at least one night in a police cell. A history of drunken disorderly [behaviour] is ideal.”

It added: “Oh, and if you still feel you’re suited to this role, then for Christ’s sake don’t send an email or call me. Just rock up, barge past security and grab a desk. There’s plenty of them because we’re losing staff at a rate of knots.”

Just in Time PR director Dominic Hiatt said: “One tweet and a share on Facebook and before we knew it we were getting emails and calls left, right and centre. Someone even called up from Cardiff, wherever that is.”

So if you have any unprincipled, depressed acquaintances, perhaps this is just the break they’ve been waiting for.

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