Here are the best jokes from Nicola Sturgeon’s appearance on The Daily Show

The SNP leader went down pretty well on the US TV show

SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon was interviewed on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart last night and raised a few laughs, after being accidentally billed as a comedian on the programme’s website.

Here’s a selection of some of the best jokes:

On comedy

Sturgeon: “You billed me on your website as a comedian - so you’ve raised all these expectations that I’m going to be funny.

“And I’m a politician, and as you know, politicians are rarely very funny.”

Stewart: “You need not worry. They thought I was going to be funny for 17 years.”

On oil stocks

Stewart: “How much are we talking about here? May we invade you?”

Sturgeon: “I think this is progress because you just heard Jon, presumably on behalf of the United States, ask permission to invade an oil-producing country. It doesn’t usually work that way.”

Stewart: “See that, you are a comedian.”

On SNP winning 56 out of 59 Scottish seats

Sturgeon: “I’ve ordered an inquiry into how we didn’t win the other three.”

Stewart: “What, do you think you’re Saddam Hussein, you get 99 per cent? 56 out of 59 is pretty good.”

On… well you’ll see

Stewart: “You have pledged for Scotland greater self determination, more financial independence.

“But now after the election that has crashed head-on with the reality that Westminster controls the purse strings, still believes in austerity, and receipts can dwindle for the GDP of Scotland, my question to you is, First Minister - what is haggis? What is that? Why would anyone?”

On the Scottish referendum

Stewart: “You have a bit of a Jones for getting out of the United Kingdom - we went through a very similar process.”

Sturgeon: “You were a bit more successful – though I don’t think we’ll try to do it your way.”

And…

Stewart: “Let me tell you what they hate. They hate it when you throw their stuff in the water.”

Sturgeon: “That’s where we went wrong!”

 

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